Today, with 2018 approaching I decided to some self-reflection over my past year, to try and connect to the infinite knowledge of the universe and its many lessons and apply this knowledge to becoming my fullest and best self. I have created a list of some of the most impactful lessons and knowledge that I have gained from my past year, which I will also do my best to apply to my upcoming year and to the rest of my life. I hope maybe you can relate to or learn something from these ideas and possibly create a parallel to your own life.
- Patience is key. I have always, ever since I can remember, had this uncontrollable feeling all the time that I am not good enough, not working hard enough, not smart enough, not on top of things enough. It is among my deepest fears in life that I will be unsuccessful or others will view me is incapable or unintelligent. This is why when I turned 18 I essentially had a mid-life crisis (Or I guess a before-your-life-has-even-started crisis) All of these thoughts started to fill my mind and sent me into a fit of panic, and my control instincts kicked in to try and scramble to figure out all of these different pieces of my life and to attempt to create a plan. However, the universe shows me over and over again that information and opportunities come into your life when you are ready for it. I strained so hard this year to try and rush my life and my journey along, but for this upcoming year, although I am still going to ambitious and work hard at my immediate projects, I also have a newfound sense of peace that comes from surrendering to the timetable and the power of the infinite.
- Happiness comes from inside. I have always had a major problem with control, and as I have come to realize, this is also one of the major reasons why I spend so much of my time in a state of anxiety or anger. I fall into these destructive states due to my subconscious belief that my happiness will come when all of my outside circumstances are perfect. Intellectually I have always known that this is not how happiness works, but this year, I have begun taking those tangible steps towards cultivating my internal happiness that relies on no person, place, or circumstance. Through meditation, and other self-care such as yoga or fitness, I have begun to feel what it is like to have that level of happiness, and it is the most freeing and empowering force I have ever felt. Although I do not stay in these states of bliss at all times, I still get angry or annoyed when things don’t go my way at times, or anxious when I feel I cannot control a situation. However, I believe with practice I can begin to embrace this change more and more and further deepen my happiness on a spiritual level.
- You are getting older, some things are going to be different now, and that’s okay. I am the type of person that suffers from people pleasing syndrome to the absolute extreme. I feel other peoples pain and emotions so deeply that I would do anything, including allowing myself to suffer, in order to stop someone else from feeling any sort of negative feeling (loneliness, sadness, anger). This has gone to new levels now that I am becoming an adult and beginning to make my own decisions about my future. I have experienced many moments this year where I realized that some relationships, experiences, and traditions are going to change now that I am older and I have to allow those things to happen because that is how it intended be all along. I have to be strong enough to let go of whatever is in resistance of me becoming my best self.
- Its okay to not listen to everybody’s advice all the time. Don’t get me wrong, there are many times where someones experience of something can provide you with the best possible insight, however, when someone gives advice, you are essentially receiving a personal opinion based on that person’s very specific and individual set of circumstances. And even though sometimes experiences may seem similar, there are also limitless factors that can differ. So, over this oast year I have tried to balance my decision making between following advice based on others experiences, and also allowing myself to be guided by my own internal compass because after all we are all created from the infinite, and therefore we hold its power inside ourselves.
- Everyone has a completely separate path, stick to yours. I believe me being the age that I am and having so much exposure to social media has really affected the way I view myself and what I should be doing. I always see so much creativity and innovation all around me and I can quickly get caught up in trying to play catch up with others. Again, the universe reminds me over and over again, we each have our very own path that has its own unique purpose. After all, we are born into this world alone, we live our entire lives in the confines of our internal consciousness, and then we will die alone. Although this may be a morbid thought for some, this realization keeps me grounded and helps to strengthen my faith in our universe and its path for me.
- Just because someone doesn’t do something how you would do it, doesn’t mean its wrong. I have to credit my lovely boyfriend Kaden for teaching me this one. Kaden is a wonderful photographer and videographer, however, when he first started to create content I immediately recognized that it was so foreign to me, it was something I would never think to create and even in a style that was so unlike my own. Many times he would ask me for advice on his content and I would give my honest opinions, and many times he would just follow his instinct and not listen anyway. However, over the course of this year, he has grown so rapidly and gained so much support online. People comment on his photos and videos all the time and it humbles me so much knowing that sometimes, other people know better for what they are doing. Now, I love watching his videos and looking at his artwork from an open-minded space because it reminds me of how beautifully unique we all are and how pure creativity is the most impactful yet diverse force in our world.
- Being right is never the most important thing. I have to admit, this one is hard for me. For some reason, I have this terrible instinct to constantly correct others and infringe my opinions or ideas, especially on my loved ones. This never comes from a place of malice, it usually comes from me wanting to educate someone on a topic or enact a healthy change in their lifestyle, it can be hard for me to let go of this. This is especially bad when I know that someone could better themselves or their lives if they followed my advice or guidance, however, this past year has definitely taught me that although it is important to share knowledge and advice, I have to allow others to form their own opinions and decide what is best for them. All I can do is allow myself to become the best possible version of myself and allow others to do the same, with or without my guidance.
- There is no point in feeling insecure, it only harms you anyway. This aspect mainly applies to my ongoing struggles with self-confidence, particularly with my appearance. Often times I find myself not wanting to do certain things solely because I am feeling insecure and unhappy. However, what I have realized is that this is such a negative practice and it only harms me anyway and sends me into a space of such negativity. I am blessed to even be alive, let alone perfectly healthy, and at times I can let this gratitude slip away from me. I am going to look the way I look no matter what, so why allow it to control my thoughts and even worse, my actions.
- You don’t have to travel the globe to experience adventure. I have had the itch to travel and experience new places and cultures, ever since I can remember. And although traveling is one of the most sacred and fulfilling practices in my life, this year I have had to challenge myself to find new ways to feel that same sense of adventure, without having to fly across the globe. Adventure and meaningful experiences can be felt every single day, it is your mindset that creates this feeling, not your surroundings. Now, I constantly find myself looking for new opportunities to excite my mind and challenge myself, right here at home. Whether it be an interesting documentary, or exploring a new restaurant or area of town, the world provides limitless opportunities.
- Everything is going to be ok. this one is short and sweet but it is by far the most impactful lesson I have learned this year, and the one that I know will stick. Through all of the anxiety and troubles I have had this past year, and through my entire life, I have always come out okay, and usually better and stronger than before. Time heals all wounds and I have truly learned to trust in the power of myself and the divinity that surrounds me and is within me.
I wish you all a very happy New Year and I hope your 2018 is filled with limitless joy, love, and abundance.